The Lynda Anderson Team believes its important to have fun and laugh regularly.

Year In Review

January:  Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February: Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....Hellllooooo!!!...bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March: Got really excited....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"

April: Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!!!

May:  Tried to make Kool-Aid...wrong instructions... 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June: Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July: Lost breast stroke swimming competition..learned later, the other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August: Got locked out of my car in rain storm....car swamped because soft-top was open.

September: The capital of California is "C" .... isn't it???

October: Hate M & M's.... they are so hard to peel.

November: Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!! (At least I want to weigh 108)

December: Couldn't call 911...."duh"....there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone!!!

What a year!

49 Fun Things to Do in an Elevator

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your tissue to other passengers.

3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shutup, all of you just shut UP!"

4. Whistle the first seven notes of  "It's a Small World" incessantly.

5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.

6. On a long ride, crash from side to side as if you're on rough seas.

7. Shave. (Especially if you're a woman.)

8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: "Get enough air in there?"

9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear your upside-down.

10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you, "Admiral".

14. One word: Flatulence!

15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

16. Do Tai Chi exercises.

17. Stare, grinning. at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I've got a new sock on!"

18. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back, "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!"

19. Meow occasionally.

20. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

21. Frown and mutter "Gotta go, gotta go", then sign and say, "oops!"

22. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

23. Sing, "Mary Had a Little Lamb, " while continually pushing buttons.

24. Holler, "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

25. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.

26. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce, "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

27. Burp, and then say "Mmmmmm....tasty!"

28. Leave a box between the doors.

29. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

30. Wear a puppet on your hand and make it talk to the other passengers.

31. Start a sing-along.

32. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask, "Is that your beeper?"

33. Play the harmonica.

34. Shadow box.

35. Say, "Ding!" at each floor.

36. Lean against the button panel.

37. Say, "I wonder that all these do," and push the red buttons.

38. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

39. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space".

40. Bring a chair along.

41. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

42. Blow spit bubbles.

43. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

44. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable hot body."

45. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively at other passengers.

46. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

47. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

48. Stare at your thumb and say, " I think it's getting larger."

49. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler, "Bad touch!"

from R. Maxwell Clough, Member Services Manager Chicago Association of Realtors